So tonight we say goodbye to Woollahra. Well, actually that’s not quite true, but it is the night we say goodbye to having a functioning internet connection in Sydney, given that the PC is about to be packed away.
So… how long would you think it would take to connect a phone line and broadband into a brand new building?
It’s not a riddle. It’s just what we spent half the day doing. Apparently the answer is 10-15 working days. My best man Gordon (I hate having to call him that) has a phrase that he uses in software development to describe behind-the-scenes processing. It’s “jiggery-pokery”. Used in context: “So a form comes up asking for the users first name, last name, and year of birth, they click on Ok, then after a bit of jiggery-pokery it informs them that their whether or not there spouse is sleeping with the milkman and if they need to get new fire insurance.”
Not being in telecommunications, I’m not sure exactly what jiggery-pokery is required to connect a phone and broadband, but I would have thought it couldn’t take more than a few hours of jiggering and/or pokering to get things up and running. 10-15 working days seems excessive, although one lot we contacted said up to four weeks, at which point they may discover that no, the infrastructure isn’t actually there for them to connect me.
Puts an interesting spin on the term “service provider”. I have an “internet service provider”. They should change the term to “dude”. I have an internet “dude”. Then you’d know where you stand. After all, “service provider” insinuates that your service will be provided, whereas “dude” insinuates nothing more than “Your call is important to me, dude. I like, love you and all, but, y’know, chillax dude. What’s the rush? It’s not like you, like, need to talk to people or email things like CVs… I’ll get to your connection, just got to punch a few cones first… where are the tim tams?”
Rant ended. Normal programming will be resuming once we are reconnected.